Author: Rita Moritz - Blog Post for March 20, 2018
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A Way in the Wilderness Blog Post.

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God will make a way even where there seems to be no way.
"I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19


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March 20, 2018:   

What can I expect from my friends when I am hurting?
#expectations #inChristalone #ritamoritz

Job 6:14b  “…To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend”

When Job needed compassion, what he received from his friends was anything but that. Like him, when we are broken hearted over something in our lives, we need understanding and compassion rather than judgment from our friends. Unfortunately, God’s army is the only army in the world that continues to shoot its wounded. So, what can we do?

To begin with, we can remember people are going to disappoint us. Flesh and bones are just that…flesh and bones. Nowhere in Scripture are we told we can trust in another person’s strength, power of faithfulness. In fact, several Scriptures caution us not to trust the “arm of flesh” (2 Chronicles 32, Jeremiah 17:5).

Our friends…even the closest friends… are just people and, like us, they can’t see the whole picture. Even if they could, they probably wouldn’t see our circumstances the same as we do. But, wait a minute! I thought a friend would…would what? What we can expect from friends is that they will act like the sinners they (and we) are.

It doesn’t mean our friends don’t care. Really, it doesn’t. However, no matter how much they love us or how concerned they are about our situation, they will at some point disappoint us. How could they not? The only one who can be there for us consistently and meet the needs of our hearts is God. And if we’re expecting that kind of support from a person, we’re setting ourselves up for hurt and disappointment.

Another thing that puts a strain on our friendships is when we share too much. I’m not saying we shouldn’t share our burdens. However, we can and should avoid puking out every sordid detail of what’s happening in our lives or in the lives of our family members to every person we know.

I’m not saying we should keep secrets because we shouldn’t. But we can and we must show some discernment about what we share, where we share, and with whom we share.

I remember being at church one day and listening in horror as a woman decided to “share” her burden with the church. From the platform and with a microphone, she shared with great detail all the things her prodigal had done and asked for prayer.

I wonder if she considered the gossip she had started or how unlikely it would now be for her prodigal to go to that church…the place where he or she could find spiritual help. Most of us wouldn’t do something so foolish, at least I hope we wouldn’t. But we still need to use wisdom and discernment when we reach out for support.

Are you looking for the kind of support from your friends that can only come from God? What a heavy burden to put on our friends! If we’re not careful, our own pain can make us self-focused, selfish and self-centered, and even unmindful of the needs of others. And demanding from our friends what they cannot possibly give us is unfair and selfish in the extreme.

Has your pain turned you into the kind of person people hate to see coming? Are they afraid to ask how you are for fear you’ll tell them things they don’t need to hear? While we can’t change our friends any more than we can change anyone else, we can and we should take a look at ourselves and our expectations.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, chose to rely on the unchanging God instead of trusting in the “arm of flesh?”


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